It’s that time again, upfronts season. This week is when the big TV networks all announce their fall schedules, including which new pilots are in and which failed shows from last year are out. And while the upfronts are supposed to be geared just towards advertisers, over the last decade, with the rise of the internet, it’s really turned into a huge press day for letting the viewers know which new shows will be coming out this September.
Today was NBC’s day to make their announcements. And I’m not going to cover everything, since you can find full coverage in a hundred other places, including TV Squad and Zap2It. But here are some of the things that jump out at me:
Scrubs had been on the bubble over the last few weeks, with news coming out that it was renewed, or it was cancelled, or NBC was cancelling it and it would move to ABC, to a hundred other possibilities. But today it’s official that the show is staying on NBC, Thusday nights, although this will almost surely be the last season. For a show that has ridden under the radar with middling ratings for its entire life, seven seasons is damn good. Glad to see it’s back.
Studio 60 is cancelled. Officially. Which isn’t a huge surprise since it got trememdously low ratings and was jerked all around the schedule this spring. At least it wasn’t cancelled and pulled early in the season, like so many other unlucky shows were, but it certainly wasn’t treated well. It’s coming back on May 24th to finish out the rest of the season, probably another six episodes. And that’s a courtesy many cancelled shows don’t get, so I guess we should be happy.
Also cancelled: a whole raft of midseason shows that just didn’t catch on. This was a really weak midseason, for all the networks but NBC in particular. The Black Donnellys, Andy Barker, P.I., Raines. Didn’t watch ‘em, don’t care.
Heroes is back, of course. It’s one of the biggest hits NBC has right now. And next year they’re making six extra episodes, called “Heroes: Origins”, that will be outside the season’s main story arc and each introduce one new character. Kind of a strange idea, and we’ll have to see how it plays out. There’s nothing wrong with more Heroes.
New shows: All dramas and dramadies this year for NBC. And they’re trying to cash in on the whole sci-fi/superheroes thing a little bit, which might backfire on them. Bionic Woman is an update of the old show from the 70s, Journeyman is about a guy who travels through time changing lives, and Chuck is an ordinary guy who gets a bionic brain implant. Can’t say any of those jump out at me, but I’ll probably give the first episodes a try, at least.
The Apprentice is not on the schedule at all, but that doesn’t mean it’s dead. It just means they still have a Trump headache and don’t want to think about him for a while. Can’t say I blame them.
Tomorrow? ABC’s new shows.
There were two possible outcomes to this season of The Apprentice: the safe, predictable one that was telegraphed from about twelve weeks ago, and the completely nutzoid balls-out awesome one. The awesome one would have involved Donald Trump professing his love for Frankie Suits on national television, and sending the other seventeen people to go live homeless on the streets of LA for one year. Frankie would have been crowned Perpetual Apprentice For All Time, and all the other previous Apprentices in the audience would have been fired too. And then, while tossing $10,000 bills into the audience, Trump would have realized that he and Frankie Suits are long-lost brothers. And not only that, but they also share the same birthmark on their butt cheek. It is discovered that these two birthmarks, when placed next to each other, are actually two halves of the map to the ancient lost treasure of the Aztecs. They set out on a whirlwind adventure around the world to hunt down the treasure, Trump is the stuffy billionaire who is never seen without his solid gold suitcase. Frank is the scruffy New Yorker who is able to talk his way out of any situation they get into. And is especially valuable when they get arrested in Morocco! At first they don’t get along, but as they progress through their fifteen-week search around the globe for the missing treasure, they come to realize how much they really need each other, and they learn the true meaning of friendship. Donald Trump realizes what is really important in the universe, and gives away all his money to an African orphanage. Frankie finally hits puberty and is made into a real boy. And together they teach all of America the value of love, teamwork and never giving up. When they find the treasure at the end, it’s not gold, and it’s not jewels. Instead they find out that what they were searching for was inside of them all along.
The boring, predictable ending is for Stefani to be made The Apprentice, because it was evident back in February that she was the only competent one out of the whole bunch of these jokers. I’ll let you guess which ending we actually saw tonight.
I’m back, and I’m trying to catch up on all the shows I missed while I was gone. Some of them I managed to watch from the hotel while I was on vacation. I got to see Sanjaya butchering another song on American Idol, and I also got the see the horrible injustice of Gina being sent home before Haley. That does not compute in my world, but I guess if you sing a boring ballad you go away. Up tempo songs, people! I keep telling you!
On Survivor first it was a very good week, with Lisi getting booted, but then it was a bad week with Michelle going next. I’m sending all my thought waves for Earl and Yau Man to be in the final two, but it’s getting harder to see it happen.
On The Apprentice I got to witness the impossible, Frank making the final four! Over Heidi! You know, Frank is my Sanjaya. Everything about him is repugnant, and he’s a five-year old trapped in an old guy body, but I so desperately want him to win and I don’t even know why. And to watch Arrow triumph over Kinetic? It’s so wrong but it feels so right. These are not the people I should be rooting for, but I find myself doing it week after week. I’m pulling for my boy Frank to win it all.
But on The Amazing Race, quite the opposite has been happening. The two shows while I was away saw the elimination of both the Guidos and Uchenna and Joyce, leaving us with a very grim final four indeed. Danny and Oswald are the only shining lights left, and I’ve wanted them to win from the beginning, so I’m still rooting for them to pull through. But I was hoping that as we got near the end there would be two or three other teams that I could also root for, kind of as a fallback in case the unthinkable happens. But right now I just want all six of the other contestants to be eaten by sharks. Seriously. They cast some dud teams for this All-Stars, and somehow most of them are still around at the end.
Oh, and there’s so much more on my TiVo that’s still crying out to be watched. House. Scrubs. How I Met Your Mother. Ugly Betty. There are only so many hours in the day, people.
Surya finally loses a task and gets fired, although it’s just because he’s a dink. And Trump starts to come into the 1920s when he realizes that women really can golf. Hey, at this rate they’ll be voting soon, too. Read it all.
Episode links:
Jacob’s recap
TV Guide review
Download the episode with BitTorrent
» Continue Reading…
The Apprentice hits the malls to sign up Hispanics for e-mail spam. It sounds worse when you put it that way. Read it all.
Episode links:
Jacob’s recap
TV Guide review
Download the episode with BitTorrent
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Both project managers walk around like they’re lobotomized this week, but only one ends up getting fired. Plus, after four episodes of being a nobody, Surya all of a sudden just won’t shut up.
Episode links:
Jacob’s recap
TV Guide review
Download the episode with BitTorrent
» Continue Reading…
Again, just like every week, you can ask the question: what does any of this have to do with real estate?
Episode links:
Jacob’s recap
TV Guide review
Download the episode with BitTorrent
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Only half the candidates compete this week, and they have to run bus tours of Hollywood. It’s all moot, though, because at the end Michelle realizes she’s too good for this show and walks out.
Episode links:
Jacob’s recap
TV Guide review
Download the episode with BitTorrent
» Continue Reading…
Donald Trump and Hugh Hefner team up to make everyone feel uncomfortable about their sexuality. Also there’s a pink swimsuit, but it’s not meant for women. And Carey gets fired for being gay. Seriously.
Episode links:
Jacob’s recaplet
TV Guide review
Download the episode with BitTorrent
» Continue Reading…
